Translated from: Das
Bondage-Handbuch, Matthias T. J. Grimme, Charon Verlag 1999/2014
At the beginning of
a session you should have made your arrangements about safety codes,
consensuality, safer sex.
Potential health problems
should be clarified beforehand (unstable circulation, circulatory
problems). It's the responsibility of both partners not to withhold
something from the other. Even a bondage master with severe circulation
problems should take care that his victim can free itself when necessary
in case he himself faints because of the excitement.
No drugs and no alcohol.
They can reduce the quickness of reactions, the sensitivity and
the self perception.
The materials necessary
should be prepared and checked.
The setting should be
clear: Role play with top and bottom (for excample an arrest, prisoner
and guard), work of art, the fullfilling of wishes or the play with
changing power levels.
What is the bondage for?
Punishment, disability to move, fetish or pressure?
At the beginning of a
session you should check the external conditions. Is there enough
time, is the room warm enough, did you prevent a possible disturbances,
is the mood the right one for both of you, is the atmosphere the
right one so that your partner can give up control and let her/himself
You should venture to
do only a kind of bondage you really are able to do according to
your skills and your experience. If you take on too much you can't
inspire confidence, and your partner can't surrender.
Everything you need for
a quick release should be handy any time.
The active part has the
duty to check constantly whether the passive part is still feeling
fine, whether he/she wants to go on, whether there are any emotional
or physical problems.
No pressure to tender
body parts (neck, throat, tendons, big blood vessels and so on).
During a bondage session
a constant rapport between the active and the passive part is important.
The partners should compare notes about their moods, their shape,
their feelings. Not only the passive part should tell the other
what he/she thinks and feels, but the active part, too, should talk
about his thoughts and feelings.
Disturbances should be
prevented as far as possible (the phone turned off, the door locked,
curtains drawn; no kids or pets in the room).
Stop the session at once
if there are any emotional or physical problems.
There should be enough
time afterwards to let everything die away slowly, to talk about
what happened and what both of you thought and felt.
Anything goes which both
of you like and take their pleasure and enjoyment from.