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Tips and Tricks


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Bondage How To / Tips and Tricks / About a good Ambient

1. Tutorials - Standard Bondages

If you want to learn Japanes Bondage, the best thing would be, to learn in a good workshop with an experienced teacher.
Please click on the pic to open the gallery

1.1. The Standard Knot - Binding

1.2. Upper Bondage simple tie with hands in the back

1.3.1. 2-Rope-Takate Kote (2013)

1.3.2. 2-Rope Takate Kote (2008)

1.3.3. 2-Rope Takate Kote (2001)

1.3.4. If you can not cross your arms at the back, that could be an alternative

1.4. Karada

1.5.How to fix the suspension rope

1.6. Suspension (Face down)

1.7. Suspension (Sideways)

1.8. Simple Suspension around the waist

1.9. Matanawa

1.10. Lower Body Harness

1.11.1. Momo Shibari Version 1

1.11.2. Momo Shibari Version 2

1.12. Ebi Shibari

1.13. How to fix a Dildo at a Ropeharness

1.14. Cock-and-Ball-Bondage presents a Bondage Tutorial from Ropecat on Vimeo.


2. Tips and Tricks

To tie up the partner is something that doesn't always have to happen in reality. It can be just a game of phantasy as well. Sometimes phantasies realized are only half as exciting as they had been as pure thought. That doesn't go against either the phantasies or the partner.
But sometimes that's just what we always desired to do - to finally see with our own eyes, to touch with our hands, to feel it everywhere. No more cinema in the head, but something real, flesh and blood. At best with a partner as eager and willing as oneself, so that you may both set off on an erotic journey.

But, like with all journeys: You should at least know beforehand that you want to make this journey, and where to go at least basically. The aim may stay a bit of a surprise.
A few fundamental measures ensure the safety on this shared way.
To ty someone up for erotic, artistic, decorative reasons means that the active part has to know what he does, and that the passive gives him/her the chance to perceive how he/she feels. No matter whether you use cotton scarfs, leather cuffs or a rope, there should be some basic knowledge about techniques and safety; among this the rule that the ties should never be too tight. Otherwise the limbs may go numb or even blue because the blood flow is interrupted. As a general rule one finger should fit under the rope. Well, at least the little finger ...
Human joints can be actively bent in certain directions; to try to overstep this point may lead to torn ligaments, pulled tendons or even fractures. The agility is different for different people. Where one is able to let the ellbows touch behind his back, this may for another already lead to severe damage. Sometimes small things can have serious consequences.

As a preparation it's a good idea to read one of the bondage guides at the market. But even when we take care to stick to every safety rule in our games there may be unexpected and unforeseen occurances during a session; negative things which we can imagine only if they have happened already. This should not keep you from let your passions run wild; it's rather the advice that in such a case you shouldn't be terrified but react sensibly.

A short while ago the following happened to me: After a bondage session one of my bondage victims complained about a numb feeling of the right hand. The tightening of the rope around the outer parts of the upper arm with the pull of the rope during a bondage of the upper body may indeed lead to a restriction in the blood flow; I knew about that. Because I know that I always tell the passive part beforehand that I want to know immediately if he/she has the feeling that the arms or hands are going numb. In this case I slacken the ropes at once.
But this time the numb feeling didn't go away after a few minutes, but persisted. The right hand stayed immobile. My partner went to a doctor after a few days when it didn't get better. The arm was bandaged. All in all she couldn't move her right arm for six weeks. Naturally, she was rather mad at me.

What happened was this: The nerve normally running along the inner part of the arm by her was more to the side. Because of this the nerv was trapped, which led to a - fortunately only temporary paralysis. But it could have been much worse.

The human body is no machine - and it's as individual as the personality it accomodates.

Das Bondage-Handbuch, Matthias T. J. Grimme, Charon Verlag Hamburg 1999/2013

Bondage - Ausstieg aus der Selbstkontrolle, Tom Schmidt, Männerschwarm Scipt Verlag, Hamburg 1999

Erotic Bondage Handbook, Jay Wiseman, Greenery Press, USA 2000

The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori, Greenerypress 2001, Distributed by Turnaround:

3. About a good Bondage Ambient

In my experiences with shibari performances and workshops, I have listening a question regularly: Ok, I already saw how to tie, but how can I produce a good ambient for it?

Really, the ambient setting is very important to make a sensual and exciting scene. Sure, if two persons are excited, they can be inside of an elevator and it'll be very exciting, but now we'll talk about produce an sensual atmosphere inside of "four walls".

Starting with the "soundtrack", because the music helps to provide an exciting ambient. The kind of the music can be chosen as the kind of atmosphere that you want to create, for example: a celtic kind music provides a confortable and relaxing sensation, however a gothic kind music generates a tense and scary atmosphere, but the both kinds can be very exciting. The eastern music is a very good resource for shibari, not only the japanese songs, the arabian and indian songs are very cool. The music choosing depends of the songs preferences and the intention of generate an especific atmosphere. Imagine a soft song at the background, while you are tying, at the same time that you kissing and caress the other person. If the music have a cadency changing and get stronger and faster, you can alternate with slaps, or start a waxplay, dropping the hot wax by all the sub's body.

The ambient lighting is very important too. Particularly, I prefer the candle lighting, with red candles, because they bring a "hot" look. Another good of the candles is the possibility of use for waxplay, but some colored candles are not proper for it, the aromatic candles are dangerous, because they'll can be very hot and can result in skin burning and allergy.

The aroma is another stimulating point (in this case, aromatic candles can be used for lighting and fragrance). I prefer the incense, because I think that the aroma is more pleasant. There are many kinds of incenses, including the relaxing and aphordisiac fragances.

Take a look how this ambient preparation is effective to the senses manipulation. The joining of the music, the look and the aroma results in the erotic stimulation of three senses (hearing, sight and smell), so all the place keeps the concentrating and involvement to the erotism. The touch and taste turns stronger by the other senses stimulation.

Itself, the shibari is already a very exciting practice, but an especific atmosphere can quiteexpand the erotic stimulation and turn it much more intense, really a great erotic ritual.
With kindly permission from Highlander

Highlander lives in Sao Paulo, BR, and is the creator of Immortal Shibari (The first Brazilian website dedicated to Shibari - due to personal reasons offline). His works on shibari have appeared in such publications and web sites as:, RopeMarks, UOL Mix Brasil, Sexy Magazine, and many others. | Contact / Imprint